God and French Fries

In the past God Seeker Guy has applied for numerous jobs for which he felt qualified, some turned out well, others not so good.

Just suppose for a moment that God Almighty had to start over again and find a real job like the rest of us, one with accountability and reasonable people skills-perhaps something in the fast-food industry.


(RESUME)

Lord God Almighty

777 Trinity Way
Heavens Above


SUMMARY STATEMENT

Results oriented with strong motivational skills, vast experience in setting goals, monitoring behaviour and meting out real world punishment and esoteric rewards.

WORK EXPERIENCE:

Creator of all things

Beginning of time – present

  • Created the world in six days and six nights to successfully meet deadline.
  • Conceived time including: time to drink, time for lunch, time to make nations – (no time to waste) and no time for anything.
  • Successfully created the first human followed by a more independent and adventurous second version.
  • Brought down severe wrath as an effective negotiating tool including: death, disease, rivers of blood, locusts and horny toads.
  • Successfully turned miscreant into a condiment.
  • Wiped out the human race except for Noah’s family and their pets as part of a global cleanup initiative.
  • Implemented a second chance for the human race after negations with Noah regarding contracts etc.
  • Introduced framework to prevent coveting of any neighbour’s ass.

SKILLS:

  • Proficient in smiting.
  • Proven ability to cause pain and suffering indiscriminately.
  • Skilled in the art of promoting communication through self delusion.
  • Proven ability to command obedience and blind faith without accountability.
  • Developed unique parenting skills.

EDUCATION:

  • Self taught in all aspects of creation including: planets, people, animals, deadly diseases, wars, famine and dental floss.


(RESUME – Response)

January 06.2023

Lord God Almighty
777 Trinity Way
Heavens Above

Subject: Employment application

Dear Lord God Almighty

Although many will accept everything stated in your resume, we at Flippy Burger, after careful consideration, find that your skills and work experience do not fit with our company policies, employment standards or our seven day work week.

Please find enclosed your complimentary coupon for a burger and medium fries.

Thank you for your interest in Flippy Burgers.

Sincerely

Management Team
Flippy Burgers Inc.

GSG (God Seeker Guy)

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